Thoughtful reflection and a passion for inclusion have shaped much of Kate Chaffin’s journey. As she pursues a master’s degree in bioethics, researching ways to make clinical research more accessible and inclusive, she also continues to grow through life in L’Arche. In this moving reflection, Kate explores the meaning of home, belonging, and the unexpected journey that led her to a community where she feels fully known and welcomed.
During the last decade of my life I never had a place I truly considered to be home. “Home” meant strategically stacked suitcases and cardboard boxes moving with me to wherever I needed to be next. The idea of community was something I realized later I was always in search of—in particular, I wanted to find a place where people live and learn from each other without fear of judgement for following their own path.
The opportunity to join L’Arche was not something I ever expected as a career move. For as far back as I can remember, I have followed the road map of a laid plan intended to get me to my ultimate goal, creating a sense of stability in life I never had before. In the end however, I didn’t find L’Arche—it found me. And when I needed it most. In a desperate situation, in need of making a major change, I saw the opportunity present itself and decided that despite minimal exposure, little experience, and no clear direction as to how this experience would fit in my life—this wasn’t a chance encounter, there was a bigger picture to why I’d happened upon this in that moment.
Meeting with late community members during at first interview, I noticed how different it felt to simply show up and talk earnestly about myself. To discuss my path here, my dreams beyond, and my life as it was then. And to hear stories behind what made L’Arche home to them decades before. I knew in that moment, that even with countless setbacks and delays from weather, illness, and loss there was no other option than to see this through. Despite a lot of uncertainty and my own insecurities, the comfort and certainty of my hiring manager told me that this wasn’t simply a move that could be right for me—but that I could be the right addition to a community others built long before me, with so much experience learning to navigate challenges and uncertainty will continue to flourish long after they’ve gone, that I could only hope to add value and new perspective to care and comfort for our core members.
So I packed up my car, headed to a city I’ve never heard of (and couldn’t pronounce), in a new state, with the hopes that even if all my doubts proved to be true, I was going somewhere for once not because I thought I was supposed to be there, but because I belonged there. This, more than anything, motivated my decision and my decision to show up again everyday for the people around me. Not a single day begins where I don’t feel like someone is happy to see me or ends without someone asking when I’ll be coming back.
I have only been a live in in community for six months—but I’ve never felt more comfortable and confident saying that I have finally found somewhere I feel I can always come home to. And that’s what I’ve found in common among every story I’ve heard of people’s journey to L’Arche. Everyone comes to experience community for a variety of reasons, but they all share one thing after their arrival—a feeling of belonging. Though I’m sure my experience is far from unique, I’ve lived in one state my whole life in several different areas, but all of which held long standing beliefs that there are “come here’s” and “been here’s”, “students” and “townies,” a “north end” and “south side…” and the two shall never mix. Joining a community like L’Arche where that divide doesn’t exist between core members and assistants, volunteers and house managers, etc. We are one community where all belong. And together we are creating lifelong relationships that span beyond countries, time zones, and generations.
My understanding of belonging has been deeply shaped by the time I’ve spent in L’Arche, where home is not just a place people live, but something people build together. What has struck me most is that every person I have spoken to seems to describe that same feeling—that L’Arche offers a rare and genuine sense of belonging, one rooted in being known, accepted, and loved as you are.
Through community, I have learned that a home is created; through patience, consistency, showing up for one another (in good times and bad), sharing a meal, open conversation, and the dignity of being fully seen. Because to be seen is to be known, and to be fully known, is to be loved. Belonging, to me, is more than simply being included. It is having a place to call home. It is the quiet but powerful feeling of walking into a room and knowing you are not an interruption, an exception, or someone who has to prove why you deserve to be there. You are already welcomed.
